How "Rock, Paper and Scissors" inspired me to spend 1 hr writing on xanga
The very emphasis on an ideal often means that the reality is far from it - but that doesn't take away from the allure of pursuing the impossible. Society constructs a cultural role model and the masses strive to emulate it consciously and subconsciously. It's the way of culture - the people amidst the craze are the most influenced and also the least aware. Yes, I finished another Asian drama (called Rock, Paper, Scissors - handsome guys btw) and is at least transiently touched by the exemplified simple life - where the kind, generous, hardworking people overcome hardships to live happily ever after.
Why is asian popular culture so different from western dramas? There was no sex and only scant depictions of physical attraction - there was only 2 kissing scenes that occurred at the very end of the 26 episode series - yet we witness the strong emotional attraction and dependence that develops, which is so fundamental to the asian culture - or so we would like to think. In a world of hidden motives and political agendas, imbalance of wealth, resources and opportunities, the strength of kindness, honesty, loyalty and personal sacrifice keeps one grounded and true to ourselves. Integrity - that's the less fluffy terminology.
So why do the countless dramas aimed at entertaining asian youth and adults follow the same cookie-cutter principles of an grossly inaccurate world? In the west, Disney fairytales are known and accepted as the bread and butter of children's entertainment - they cater to the naive and vulnerable minds of innocent hearts and are not expected to be taken seriously. So why is there such a discrepency in the target audience for a very similar genre? I'm sure this is one of the many forces that perpetuate the sets of behavior characteristics that can be generalized to asian males and females. And I myself don't fall short of expectation - when I smile at the patients in the clinic I'm sure I come across as the sweet little student doctor they might want to pet on their way out. I don't know when and where I've acquired this affect on strangers but it's here and done.
And if one scans through the female asian population there is a correlation between degree of western influence and degree of outward sex appeal. The most white-washed are often the sexy, classy vixens while the fobs are the cute dolls; with the former almost always appearing more confident, experienced and mature. In this 21st century mixing-pot, it seems that the image projected and reinforced by the dominant asian culture automatically puts them at a disadvantage when the multitudes of cultures collide. And this does not make sense from an evolutionary point of view - disadvantageous behavior is supposed to shrivel in the wake of competition.
So then, there must be another reason why this seemingly illogical form of entertainment or cultural norm is flourishing among the asian communities. And if so, what is it?
When I was in university I was very affected by a comment made by an acquaintance-friend - that she felt I should branch out more from the Asian culture to more thoroughly explore this mixing-pot world. Through awkwardness and embarrassment and sometimes a sense of isolation and lack-of-belonging, I've tried time and again to immerse myself into the western culture and be that confident, classy, sexy vixen. And time and again, I've retreated into the comfort of stereotypical asianness with the hope of one day breaking free from the small baby steps. And this has contributed to my sense of confusion about my personal identity - the type of person I want to be and who I am and who I "truely" am. Over the years, cuteness as a descriptor never escaped me and I am at best cute-sexy with the help of makeup and a flirtatious outfit. This has made me wonder if my "true" denominator is cuteness and if that IS my "true" self.
While I equate cuteness with immaturity, there's very little evidence that indeed that is so when it comes to dealing with life. The confident, classy, sexy vixen can wreck havoc with all sorts of emotional and relationship problems trailing in the aftermath. The cute little asian doll can be grounded and dependable and emerge from life's tough patches with an almost unbecoming calmness and discipline.
So there's no real conclusion to the personal identity of Jane. I'm still exploring rather aimlessly, but I've acquired more awareness of my own disposition and its relation to mass culture. I never thought of myself as a sheep but here I've been bahhhhhhhhing loud and clear, all along.
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